Frogs (why I lost my oilcan)

When I read this in Frogs, 405 B.C., I absolutely howled. It might loose some of it's humor here because I pulled the passage out of the play, but it's about when Dionysus traveled down to Hades to bring back a good poet because all of the poets left on the earth weren't any good. After arriving in Hades, he engaged Euripides and Aeschylus in a contest to decide which of them would leave Hades with him. This part of the play appears somewhere in the middle of this contest:

EURIPIDES. Bosh! I make good prologues

AESCHYLUS. I’ll not maul your text word by word, but with heaven’s help

I’ll smash them all with an oilcan.

EURIPIDES. My prologues with an oilcan?

AESCHYLUS. With just one. Such are your iambics that an afghan

Or reticule or oilcan can be fitted in.

I’ll demonstrate.

EURIPIDES. You say you’ll demonstrate?

AESCHYLUS. I do.

DIONYSUS. Time to speak.

EURIPIDES. Aegyptus, according to the prevalent story,

Touching at Argos with fifty sons—

AESCHYLUS. Lot his oilcan.

EURIPIDES. What’s that oilcan? Damn it!
DIONYSUS. Give him another prologue; the point will be clearer.

EURIPIDES. Dionysus in fawn-skins clad, with Thyrsus and torch

Bounding and dancing—

AESCHYLUS. Lost his oilcan.

Ah, I am smitten once more—by the oilcan.

EURIPIDES. No Matter. You’ll not be able to fit your oilcan to this:

No man is in all respects happy. One nobly poor is needy,

Another, of low birth—

AESCHYLUS. Lost his oilcan.

DIONYSUS. Euripides!

EURIPIDES. What it is?

DIONYSUS. Better reef your sails; that little can will blow a gale.

EURIPIDES. I’m not worried, by Demeter. I’ll smash it in his hand.

DIONYSUS. Recite another, then, but beware the oilcan.

EURIPIDES. Upon leaving Sidon’s town Agenor’s son Cadmus—

AESCHYLUS. Lost his oilcan.

DIONYSUS. Better buy that oilcan, fried; he’ll chip away all your prologues.

EURIPIDES. What, I buy of him?

DIONYSUS. If you take my advice.

EURIPIDES. Never. I can produce many prologues to which he cannot fix his oilcan.

Tantalid Pelops faring to Pisa with swift mares—

AESCHYLUS. Lost his oilcan.

DIONYSUS. D’you see? He did tack the oilcan on. Buy it, do;

You can get it good as new for an obol.

EURIPIDES. Not yet; I still have plenty. In his field one day

Oeneus—

AESCHYLUS. Lost his oilcan.

EURIPIDES. Do let me finish the whole line. In his filed one day

Oeneus

After reaping an abundant harvest, while offering first fruits—

AESCHYLUS. Lost his oilcan.

DIONYSUS. In the midst of sacrifice? Who stole it?

EURIPIDES. Let be, mister. Let him try this one. Zeus as Truth hath said—

DIONYSUS. He’ll ruin you; he’ll say Lost his oilcan. On your prologues

That oilcan grows like sties on the eyes. In heaven’s name,

Turn now to his melodies.